You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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