I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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