she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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