Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I need moral support for this bender
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
