just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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