After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
