Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Did I show you my penis last night?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
