I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
