I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Congratulations! We have a period
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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