I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
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