If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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