why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
