Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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