I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Alive.
So much puke
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
