It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
