your parents love me but you hate me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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