Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
