just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
