I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
