at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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