After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
