i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
