PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
