I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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