He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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