I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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