just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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