Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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