Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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