I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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