shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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