He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
