Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
