Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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