I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
