3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
