so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
