fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
