she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize