oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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