she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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