the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
