i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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