Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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