She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
