I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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