k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
