His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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