i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
