btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Is Oprah even human
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
