i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
