i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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