And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
