Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I stole a fireplace last night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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