I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
