i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
